What I'm talking about is "traditional marriage." This type of marriage that is widespread in the Middle Eastern cultures, and even the Far Eastern. I'm a woman of 31 years, single, and I've been put for sale so many times that I've got "sick of it!" I am sure that there are many other women in our culture who feel the same way like I do.

Marriage is a union of two spirit-matching spouses – and I don't mean to put it in a romantic manner. I know that no two persons are identical, and it's silly to think that there are any. What is needed is an openness to accept the individualism of the other person, to be willing to decrease the gap and to bring in more harmony, so that you keep the "happy" life going.

I've always been resentful to traditional marriage, and I have my reasons!

"My daughter, get well-dressed, and put some make-up, will you? People are coming to see you today."

"Who are they?" I ask.

"I don't know," my mom replies.

"Do they know me? Have they ever seen me or heard of me?"

Most probably, my mother's reply is gonna be "NO".

My mother also tells my other three sisters (one is married now, and by God's grace, not through traditional marriage), she tells them also to get well-dressed.

"So, we're all put on shelves today for the exhibition," I cynically exclaim.

Of course my mother would disagree. "It's how it's done here. I myself got married this way."

"But mom, that was ages ago! And, are we some commodity that they are gonna come and inspect us all before they set up on their target?"

My mother would say, "They called and asked me about your ages and degrees. I told them, and it seems any of you can fit."

Any of us can fit. Oh, great!

Alright, this time I won't quarrel much. I will put myself on the shelf and see.

I got dressed to the best I can. I put some eye-liner (I don't wear make up. I hate it!) I waited eagerly for my probable husband-to-be, whom I've never seen before.

Here they are. A young man, with his parents and maybe a sister. I always warn my mother not to embarrass me and ask that I offer them anything. She eventually agrees because she wants me to meet them, so she has to compromise. My mom brings the coffee. I shortly follow, forcing myself to get into the room and greet all of them. All the armchairs have people seated on them except for the one opposite the "groom". Oh for God's sake, is this done on purpose?! I sit opposite Prince Charm (sorry, but can't help getting cynical). I sit opposite the young man, hardly being able to look at him. What can I do? I always get shy in such situations. Now don't tell me you're 31 and you should have lost your shyness long time ago. It's just that I find this situation real embarrassing!

They start to exchange talks, and the investigation starts:

"Do you work?" his mom/sister would ask.

"Yes I do," I reply, forcing a fake smile to my lips.

"Where do you work? …. Oh, that must be tiring. How much is your pay? What's your degree? When were you born? Etc, etc, etc…"

Keeping an eye on how I'm seated, I answer the investigators to the best I can. Once in a while I notice the guy's inspecting eyes scrolling me up and down. Aha! Catch ya, snatching a quick glance at my …? Oh, I wonder if I meet the standards. Arg!

If my other sisters are on the shelf that day, they will be asked similar questions. If not, I will be the misfortunate one to be poured all over with endless questions. And I have to take them all so gladly and answer.

One time I was asked a question which I've been asked so many times before, and strange enough, the question came so abruptly and suddenly like an outraged bullet shot directly to the head, before I could get myself nicely seated on my chair!
The groom's younger sister caught me off guard with this question: "Do you cover your head with a scarf when you go out?" I confidently said, "No, this is HOW I go out!" With a big sigh of sadness the girl said, "Allah yehdeeki – God show you the righteous way!"

Who are you to judge my faith? I thought.

The exhibition ends with a few encoded looks among the groom's family, in an attempt to convey to each other whether the commodity met the requirements or not. As usual, they head out the door expressing how pleased they are to know us, and that "hopefully" they'll call us soon. If the commodity is accepted, they will call again to set another date. If not, you will never hear of them again. I am not interested in what happens after the initial exhibition anyway, so that's it on my part.

Each time an inspection visit is conducted to our "headquarters", I ask myself: How are these people gonna judge me? I've never been nominated Miss World, apparently, so if I am to be judged based on how I look, I may be done injustice (not that I'm saying that I'm ugly :) ). Some people have a pre-defined list of features in the wife-to-be. She should be this and that cm tall, should be blonde, blue/green eyes. Typical for searchers for a commodity, don’t you think? I just can't help but think, how can someone judge you when they have only met you for less than an hour? What do they know about my mind, my heart, or my soul? We, human beings, are complicated creatures. I'm not a bird that can only sing and sleep. I am an intellectual person who's proud of her intellectuality. I am a passionate person just the way a woman should be, I am much more than what you see. Every human being is much more than that, be it good or bad. But in our society, I can be given a fair judgment in less than an hour. How ironic!

…… "You have a nice daughter, only if she was a bit taller!"
No, I am not the referent of this statement. It was my sister who's a doctor, my MARRIED sister, and thank God, she didn't marry through traditional marriage. Those people only saw that my sister "wasn't" tall enough!

What's the alternative then? Someone may ask.

I am a believer in God and in destiny. You will meet your Mr./Miss Right when the time comes, and according to God's will, and hopefully, not in an exhibition.